We are so happy that we are finally pregnant. So are a lot of other people. Telling people has been exciting and nerve racking. My heart beats just as fast as when I found out, but that over now. Everyone knows. I was a little scared to tell anyone, for fear that I might miscarry, but I believe that every life should be celebrated. No matter how small and fragile. And I can't really keep secrets. I am not regretting telling people because we have gotten so much love and prayers from everyone. I really need that. How can people send help if they don't know that you need it?
Back to the reality called life. This has complicated EVERYTHING. Neither one of us wants to risk anything, but I can't stop working either. In a perfect world I would be able to sleep, eat, sleep, eat, and just repeat that all day. This is not a perfect world though. With adopting, my body doesn't change at all. I just have to be ready when they hand a baby to me. Easy. Very emotional but no morning sickness, back pain, big belly that restricts movement, no labor. I really was OK with not getting pregnant. It was a long, hard road to get to that point though. Every time I heard about someone getting pregnant I wanted to (secretly) punch them, even if I loved them and was really happy for them. It was so hard but I really was OK with it. I knew labor wasn't going to be good for me anyway. I fainted when I got my ears pierced, and seem to have a very low tolerance for pain.
So what do we do now? I am taking it slow and trying to communicate better with Noel about how I am feeling. He is tring to take on more responsibilities and doing more physical work by himself. This is hard for him and he can't keep this up for the next 8 months. We will have to get help. We will have to pay the help. We have to get this place running smoother so it's not as much work and doesn't require your whole day. Noel carries a lot of that burden, is always thinking, and is working on a plan, but it is going to take time. So for now, I milk the cows and help with small stuff. Milking really is the easiest job. I'm just walking. Going in between the cows is a little complicated because of the fear of getting smooched. We have a stick to help let them out and Noel is working on a plan to make it easier. I think pulleys will be involved. We will have to have something else set up soon because I wont be able to bend down. Like I said, it's complicated. The struggle of health and cash flow seems to make everyones' life complicated. If anyone wants to come over and help for free we won't turn you away. Not expecting anyone to, just thought I would throw that out there. I think I need to take a nap now, so I will end here...for now.
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