Now things have gotten complicated.

We are so happy that we are finally pregnant. So are a lot of other people. Telling people has been exciting and nerve racking. My heart beats just as fast as when I found out, but that over now. Everyone knows. I was a little scared to tell anyone, for fear that I might miscarry, but I believe that every life should be celebrated. No matter how small and fragile. And I can't really keep secrets. I am not regretting telling people because we have gotten so much love and prayers from everyone. I really need that. How can people send help if they don't know that you need it?

Back to the reality called life. This has complicated EVERYTHING. Neither one of us wants to risk anything, but I can't stop working either. In a perfect world I would be able to sleep, eat, sleep, eat, and just repeat that all day. This is not a perfect world though. With adopting, my body doesn't change at all. I just have to be ready when they hand a baby to me. Easy. Very emotional but no morning sickness, back pain, big belly that restricts movement, no labor. I really was OK with not getting pregnant. It was a long, hard road to get to that point though. Every time I heard about someone getting pregnant I wanted to (secretly) punch them, even if I loved them and was really happy for them. It was so hard but I really was OK with it. I knew labor wasn't going to be good for me anyway. I fainted when I got my ears pierced, and seem to have a very low tolerance for pain.

So what do we do now? I am taking it slow and trying to communicate better with Noel about how I am feeling. He is tring to take on more responsibilities and doing more physical work by himself. This is hard for him and he can't keep this up for the next 8 months. We will have to get help. We will have to pay the help. We have to get this place running smoother so it's not as much work and doesn't require your whole day. Noel carries a lot of that burden, is always thinking, and is working on a plan, but it is going to take time. So for now, I milk the cows and help with small stuff. Milking really is the easiest job. I'm just walking. Going in between the cows is a little complicated because of the fear of getting smooched. We have a stick to help let them out and Noel is working on a plan to make it easier. I think pulleys will be involved. We will have to have something else set up soon because I wont be able to bend down. Like I said, it's complicated. The struggle of health and cash flow seems to make everyones' life complicated. If anyone wants to come over and help for free we won't turn you away. Not expecting anyone to, just thought I would throw that out there. I think I need to take a nap now, so I will end here...for now.

It's 2:30am on Wednesday January 4th

I am up because I drank a lot of water before bed. My heart is beating so fast I can barely type. A million thoughts are running though my head. "ahh, so that's why I have had heart burn and not really been feeling well." After 8 + years of Marriage it has finally happened. "Who do we tell? When do we tell them?" We have waited so long and have been on such a long journey. It really took a lot to get here and be able to say this but...

WE'RE PREGNANT!!!!!

Had an ultrasound today (Friday) to find out how far along we are. We are due September 2nd! This is kind of scary to us. We have been pregnant before, told people about it, then we had to "untell" them. That was so hard. But last time I didn't have any symptoms, and there was never a heart beat, so we are already ahead of the game. We actually heard a heart beat, which we were told, is rare this early. The adoption will be getting put on hold for now. We will be able to re-enter the program once we have the baby.

We are so excited, scared, in shock, happy, etc..I knew 2012 was going to be a great year but I never expected this.

I already know that there are a lot of people praying for us and our baby, but I ask you to say one more. We need all the help we can get. Thank you.

HAPPY NEW YEAR

2011 has been a crazy year for us and 2012 is looking to be just as crazy. Some of our plans for this year include getting our grain bin running (it's been up next to our barn for about 2 years), and hopefully drop spouts so we don't have to use buckets and a cool whip container to feed our cows during milking. We hope to build a place for our heifers and calfs (so they can stay at our place), possibly upgrade the milk cow winter facility, and (with prayers and a little luck) get picked by a birth mom to adopt her child. Stay tuned for this amazing ride that we are on. We will also be doing some traveling again this year to, you guessed it, some Longhorn shows. So far we are planning on going to Indiana to the Winchester Futurity of the North and the Cherry Blossom in Carolina.

We are also planning on buying some land and renting some more. We need to expand our herd of milk cows and we need land to do it. With wanting to raise our cows outside our experts have told us that we should have 2 acres per unit. A unit is a thousand pound animal. That means that we can fit more 100 pound calves on one acres then you can adult cows. An adult cow weighs about 1500 pounds.

We hope that 2012 is just as exciting for you and yours as our plans to be for us.